"When somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
When we really observe someone and stop seeing them as we want them to be, and view them as they truly are, we become discerning. Not so that we can retaliate or shut them out of our lives, but so that we can decide to be empathic, kind or love them from a distance.
When there's no sign or acknowledgment of a wrong doing then boundaries are helpful. There are peaceful solutions to loving them from afar. However, we can also choose grace because I do believe in the potential and hope for something new to grow within us and collectively through healthy communication and sincere effort.
Hope can be a life raft in a sea of unknown.
Pema Chodron surprisingly, speaks against hope, saying it's akin to fear. "Hope and fear is a feeling with two sides. As long as there’s one, there’s always the other. This is the root of our pain. In the world of hope and fear, we always have to change the channel, change the temperature, change the music, because something is getting uneasy, something is getting restless, something is beginning to hurt, and we keep looking for alternatives."
Hope as an expectation or savior from any suffering the fear has caused is not hope in it's purest form. Hope can be the antidote to fear.
But to me, holding hope isn't like having an expectation. It is much more like: not fighting the world. Allowing things as they are. It's also holding lightly the possibility of peace within turbulence. And that to me is brave. "If we want there to be peace int he world, we have to be brave enough of soften what is rigid in our hearts, to find the soft spot and stay with it."
Hope, peace, empathy and forgiveness are all the roots of a courageous and observant life.
May you hold lightly to things today, including those who prick at your peace by showing you their humanity and imperfection. Isn't it all a practice?
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