I'd like mine to be kindness. The Dali Lama says "my religion is kindness". When we are so focused on our own agenda, it's hard to move from a place of compassion. When we think that we are out of time or energy or lacking in our most basic of needs, we are less likely to stop and offer a moment of compassion for someone else.
As super human as I would like to think I am, I am simply human. One of my favorite quotes right now, pinned where I can see it... where I can be reminded of our sameness, says:
"I tell you these stories because these things happen to everyone. It is not about being starched or polished or cute or polite. It's about having ears that stick out. About breaking yet another glass. It's about seeing something for the first time and making a million mistakes and not ever getting completely discouraged."I would love to tell you about my completely well behaved children and my stellar parenting skills and how that keeps me from making any mistakes. I cannot. When one child is good, the other tends to mis-behave. My parenting often needs more than polishing. I could use a magic fairy with the power of do-overs!
When I'm frazzled, my compassion quickly evaporates. Willful son #2 throws himself on the floor and says, "I'm not going to... walk the dog, wake up, go to school, eat dinner, clear his plate, go to chemo..." This is his mode of operation these days. ... I mean who could blame him? I don't want to do any of those things either. One of our first responses to life is our desire for pleasure. And, none of those things are fun!
This leaves me less than compassionate and somewhat disheartened.
If you're a seasoned parent, you most likely have about half a dozen tricks up your sleeve to get a child to do what you need him to. Once I've tried all those, my super power wanes. I feel my voice rising and BOOM! I am no longer sweet, loving yoga mom. Snow white's nemesis, the evil queen, comes roaring out!
To keep from stumbling over the edge into the valley discouragement, this week I am exploring new parenting strategies, but mostly I am returning to me.
What would make me kinder, more compassionate?
TIME. The lack of or need for more time is the universal challenge. It creates unnecessary stress that spills from me into the lives of those around me. I feel the clock constantly ticking. Even now, a client due to arrive in 10 minutes and I want to.... do a million things.
It just isn't going to all get done. And, that has to be ok.
Life is so much more peaceful when I get out of my own way. Release agenda. That, ironically, was my intention for 2014: To be present by letting agenda go. When I am more present, unworried over past, present or future, kindness has room to bloom.
Still the same amount of time as you, all I can do is smile, breath, and go slowly. Keeping the evil queen in check while I practice my super powers, again and again.
Day 2 #30daysofwriting #writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday