30 days of writing #30daysofwriting #writeeverydamnday #writeyourselfalive. Founder of Rebelle Society offered this challenge as a way to reconnect with yourself, a science of the soul experiment. Read all about it! with the full details of the how to’s or to join us on the crusade.
I’m generally great at the start of a project and 95% of the time, seeing something through to the very end as my duty. When I make a decision to do something, and it involves someone else, follow through is an absolute, a promise. No turning back. Going all out, giving more effort than was required.
When it comes to me, it's hard to justify time to do things just for the fun of it. And, when I do, this bizarre guilt creeps in. Knowing I have to take care of me and do things that make me feel alive while still feeling the gnawing that I could or should be doing something else, for someone else is a tug of war within that overwhelms me.
A powerful choleric, pitta by nature, I have more ideas than I can possibly accomplish in my lifetime. When someone shares an problem or need with me, like a cartoon bubble above my head, I can see at least a dozen solutions on how to solve it immediately. I usually discern, though that people don’t want to be fixed or told how to succeed. Humans tend to want to figure it out on their own, or they want you to do it with them or for them.
3 yoga private sessions, 3 Thai yoga massages, 3 public classes1 chemo treatment for son #21 shopping spree with sons #1 & 2 to buy supplies for school, movies (for couch potato time after chemo) and fruit on a stick from a mamak stall3 grocery runs (I have a weird rule of only buying what I can actually carry home, which means 2 bags at a time. Then, I’m only buying what we need, not want.)2 AcroYoga practices with friends5 hours in the car21 handstands in the kitchen1 parent/teacher meeting30 pushups a day in my bathroom0 yoga asana on my mat7 half hour walks with Eddie, the dog, aka son #310 15 minute walks with Eddie5 letters of gratitude for the #365 days of gratitude via sent via snail mail to extraordinarily beautiful souls45+ hours online: class planning, emails, skype calls, proposals and planning for future travel, workshops & retreats, Facebook, Twitter, Meetup…42 hours of sleep12 hours of homework with son #11 order of pizza take away0 hours of TV0 hours of taxes44 minutes of cumulative reading from a real (as opposed to virtual) book in various places: car, bathroom, dining room4 minutes noticing the sunrise view from my condoAnd, now 60 minutes of writing of which 22 minutes spent with a cuddling son #2
When I break it down like this, it seems doltish to be hard on myself. (I am avoiding the word "stupid" as I preach to my sons to never call themselves stupid. For years, they both thought it was a "naughty" curse word and would tattle on anyone who said it.)
Son #2 wasn’t surprised by my list. He said he thought I spent most of my day on my computer posting about yoga, classes, and stuff so I can earn money to take care of him. Someone hand me a tissue, please.
Writing myself alive.