Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Look Toward Today And Leap

I wake everyday with a new hope. Stirring from a restless sleep, I attempt to shake the residue of the previous day's mood off. My emotions form a pool around my bed which I must leap over. I have made a game of it in my mind. If I make over the puddle, then the sun will shine. If cannot jump far enough, I fall into the clouds and feel gravity pull me deep into the earth or at least back into bed. 

Melancholy is a giant shadow that envelops me. And, I wonder aloud, "what to do to move into the light?" My companions, sadness and tears come at regular intervals. It's all I can do to smile when I am with my precious boys playing the pool or chasing each other through the park. The desire to run is great but my lethargy is greater. 


The healing I experienced in Thailand faded quickly. I must try to remember how bathe myself in forgiveness and unconditional love when I am alone and far from home. When I step into the sunlight, it helps. I can feel myself under the same sky as my Beloved.

While new fears gnaw at my heart, my dreams hold me and give me comfort. I cannot change the past, but I can navigate my future. Plan, then let go of the reigns and allow things to unfold in a way that is usually better than I have schemed. 

Taking a yoga class yesterday after some time away from a personal practice and teaching, I realized I am not doing what it is that I am most passionate about. I need to keep doing what feeds my soul and refills me when I feel far from Love and the future feels unmapped. I can only look toward today and try to leap far enough to land on my feet.
Look to this day! 
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course 
lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The Bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendor of beauty
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow only a vision
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope. 
Look well, therefore to this day! 
Such is the salutation to the dawn.
~ Kalidasa, Indian Poet

3 comments:

  1. Wonderful this post! Good lucky! Everything well is coming.

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  2. Thank you, sweet Gemma. yes, everything well is coming. :)

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  3. Melissa, your words are sad and beautiful. Beginning each day below level, wearing a cloak of suffering, is painful. And while I can't share your burden, your sorrow is also mine.

    But even in your time of difficulty, you see opportunity. Joy cannot be far behind. Thank you for your courage in sharing your story. You are all the more human for it. I am with you.

    TQM.

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