Tuesday, August 7, 2012

the green mango

The passage of time will prepare us to find our heart's desires just as it does a green mango. "When we try to eat the mango before it's ripe, it's not tasty. But when we wait, we can fully appreciate the taste, smell and texture of the juicy fruit. When we try to squeeze in a lifetime in only a short while, we miss the beauty of the ripening." ~ Poncho Cottier

Fidgeting when something was taking a bit too long (all day), I announced how impatient I am. My friend questioned, "you're a yoga teacher, right?" Yes, I am. But I'm human, and it's not possible to always  display Dali Lama like patience. If you have kids, you know what what I mean. Sigh.

I'm hoping that these next few weeks at AcroYoga Teacher Training will not only refine my skills as a practitioner but as a partner. Acrobatic skills are developed over time, just as compassion, communication and patience are cultivated with trial and error and yes, time. I am hopeful that even with my inexperience in comparison to my peers, that my heart's desires will be clarified and the green mango will begin to ripen. 

Friday, August 3, 2012

The song of my soul was freed.
The one who holds the light that guides me is found. 
Together we uncover the beauty that was always abundant and radiant
yet hidden from my view.
We were searching for each other through many lifetimes.
And now here we are under the same sun, the same moon.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Things I Have No Words For

Some days I can only see the world through art. A sunset. A flower. A smile. When I see a brilliant creation, I am reminded I was created, too.
I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way... things I had no words for.― Georgia O'Keeffe  

Some days I can only see the world through music. My eyes close, and I hear the depth of pain, sorrow or even rapture in the lyrics written and unfolded in a song.

Some days I can only see the world through words. What my heart feels comes alive when I dress it in expressive words. 
A word is dead
When it is said,
Some say.
I say it just
Begins to live
That day.
~ Emily Dickenson
Some days I wish I could see the world through someone else's eyes. Try as I can to empathize with a friend, partner, or stranger, I can never know exactly how they feel inside.

Son #1 said to son #2, I wish we could switch places, for just a minute and you could see how much that hurts when you're on my shoulders in the pool (pretty wise kiddo). No parent wants their children to experience any kind of pain but people who have been through painful experiences, are filled with compassion. To begin to see and feel things from another's perspective is the beginning of compassion. It is the beginning of living life with heart.

Lord, teach me to live with heart and to be inspired by the beauty that surrounds me, the things I have no words for.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Look Toward Today And Leap

I wake everyday with a new hope. Stirring from a restless sleep, I attempt to shake the residue of the previous day's mood off. My emotions form a pool around my bed which I must leap over. I have made a game of it in my mind. If I make over the puddle, then the sun will shine. If cannot jump far enough, I fall into the clouds and feel gravity pull me deep into the earth or at least back into bed. 

Melancholy is a giant shadow that envelops me. And, I wonder aloud, "what to do to move into the light?" My companions, sadness and tears come at regular intervals. It's all I can do to smile when I am with my precious boys playing the pool or chasing each other through the park. The desire to run is great but my lethargy is greater. 

The healing I experienced in Thailand faded quickly. I must try to remember how bathe myself in forgiveness and unconditional love when I am alone and far from home. When I step into the sunlight, it helps. I can feel myself under the same sky as my Beloved.

While new fears gnaw at my heart, my dreams hold me and give me comfort. I cannot change the past, but I can navigate my future. Plan, then let go of the reigns and allow things to unfold in a way that is usually better than I have schemed. 

Taking a yoga class yesterday after some time away from a personal practice and teaching, I realized I am not doing what it is that I am most passionate about. I need to keep doing what feeds my soul and refills me when I feel far from Love and the future feels unmapped. I can only look toward today and try to leap far enough to land on my feet.
Look to this day! 
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course 
lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
The Bliss of growth
The glory of action
The splendor of beauty
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow only a vision
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope. 
Look well, therefore to this day! 
Such is the salutation to the dawn.
~ Kalidasa, Indian Poet