Monday, August 31, 2009

so much more




Aparigraha Sthairye Janmakathamta Sambodhah.


Yoga Sutra 2:39

When I'm not looking for something that is outside of myself, I can just about transcend time. I'm not afraid of the future. The past, present and future are the same. Instead of seeing myself as a victim of something in the past, I can fearlessly let go of my own story or identity. Seeking to transform and become steadfast, that's Aprigraha. Otherwise, when I hold on to that defining story of me, I think I'm free when actually, I'm striving.

"We are so much more than our story. 
We can re-create ourselves anytime we want to." Adi 

Having too much ambition, is it damaging? People think you're trying to be something that's not really the essence of yoga when you ask for more than what they perceive to be "reasonable". Reasonable amount of money to spend on yoga or reasonable amount of time spent practicing or teaching. What would happen if I didn't get caught in my drama or everyone else's for that matter? What if I paused instead and sought to lose the intension of my own campaigning or grasping.

If only I could find and have vision to see beyond myself consistently. That vision could be the breath of life that revives my tired spirit.

Why do I often feel like I have to be perfect? I don't. I don't have to try to be perfect. I'm already whole. I just have to practice. Practice gratitude. Practice letting go of control. And with practice, begin to navigate my own uniqueness and give up all (at least all that I'm trying so desperately to obtain). I don't think it's so much reinvention of me, as it is a glimmer of who I already am underneath it all.

Perfectly me. Imperfectly perfect. Practically fearless.





1 comment:

  1. Sometimes you have to let go just to see if you're the only one holding on.

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